Dan Cleatsworth

Dan Cleatsworth is the self-proclaimed “Last Guardian of Real Football,” fighting an uphill battle against analytics, AI coaching, and whatever nonsense the kids are calling “tempo offense” these days. A former waterboy-turned-unofficial historian of the Wing-T formation, Dan refuses to acknowledge any football played in a dome and still writes his game recaps on a typewriter, just to keep things “authentic.” He once attempted to ban WiFi from a press box, citing “moral concerns.” His dream is to one day witness a 3-0 overtime thriller and write a 10,000-word piece about it.